This is the feeling you first get in Up in the Air movie, carefree, freedom, sweet self-indulgence, fast steps.
Ryan Bingham is a man who spends his life traveling from one state to another. He earns his living from firing people. He spent 322 days on the road, meaning he "wasted" 43 days at "home" a year.
His dream is to achieve ten million frequent flier miles and have his name written on a plane. He disconnected himself from any kind of relationship commitment, whether to family members, a wife, or even a love relation. According to him "Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life." He even lectures people on this philosophy "What's in your Backpack?" He motivates people to get free from any kind of connection whether to staff or people that prevent them from moving faster. Empty your Backpack so that you move faster.
On the professional level, being disconnected makes Ryan an excellent terminator. He fires people with a smile, speaks to them about other opportunities, takes in their rage and anger, feels no pity for anyone, he is doing his job heartlessly or may be professionally. He describes his job saying "Our job is to make limbo tolerable - To ferry wounded souls across the river of dread and humiliation and self-doubt to the point at which hope's bright shore is dimly visible... And then to stop the boat, shove them in the water, and make them swim while we row back to the place of their banishment to present the employer with other bill".Throughout the movie Ryan travels from one state to another in a way that makes the viewer feels tired looking for the ground to settle down. Everything he does is so mechanical in each airport and hotel. In one of his trips, he meets Alex; his female counterpart; a women who is also up in the air just like him. They start a casual relationship. They agree to meet whenever their roads cross each other.
On the family level, Ryan's disconnection from his sisters makes them treat him as stranger. On his little sister's wedding rehearsal dinner, it was hard for him to realize that his sisters treat him as a stranger. When he suggested to walk his own little sister down the aisle, he was told that her fiance's uncle will do "He's been really supportive". It has been already arranged. On asking when to go to the ceremony, he was told "Guests are arriving around 5. Things get going at 5:30..So you know, around then". He has never been there, so why would they think of him as family, why would they count on him to fill their deceased father place. This was the first shock that made him start to realize the consequences of his life philosophy.
Kara; his elder sister, asked him to persuade the bridegroom who got freak on the marriage date to go on with making his marriage commitment to their little sister. Ryan commented that though he is a motivational speaker, he can't do so. Simply, because his job is to persuade people AVOID commitments. Kara comments "Stupid philosophy...Fear of commitment is simply a reflection of what someone carves". However, he found that he should start doing something for his family. He explained to the bridegroom how marriage is a meaningless commitment without any point in it (As Ryan Believes) but he asked him one question: Think of the times when you were happy, were you alone? He answered NO. Then, the answer was sufficient in convincing the bridegroom of marriage commitment.
On the personal level, when Ryan received his sister's wedding invitation, he asked Alex to be his date.For the first time in his life he doesn't want to appear in parties alone. He would be glad if Alex would be his date then.
Ryan: Look. You Know. I'm not the wedding type. But for the first time in my life...I want a dancing partner. I want a plus one. And if you can stomach it, I'd like it to be you.
It was very obvious that Ryan started to develop real feelings towards Alex which he found reciprocal. Alex agreed and they spent a lovely time together. They went to Ryan's school, actually they broke in. They exchanged loving glances, danced, had fun at the wedding more like a married couple deeply in love.
Following these incidents, Ryan was invited to speak about his "Backpack Philosophy" in a prestigious International Convention Mall, he was yearning for. He started his session:
Ryan: Imagine for a second that you are carrying a backpack...I want you to feel the straps in your shoulders..you fell them?
Ryan isn't feeling them. He is not inspired. He isn't believable. He's barely even there.
Ryan: Now I want you to pack it with all the stuff you have in your life. Start with the little things.Ryan is trying, but he can't find the will to do it.
Ryan: The...um...The stuff in the drawers and on the shelves.
Ryan takes a beat and steps back. He stares at the backpack on the table and thinks about the things and people he removed from it...And then...
Ryan: Excuse me
He can't preach it anymore. He ran out of the hall. Flew to Chicago, to Alex, for the first time in his life, he wants connection, a ground, a tie, love, no more self-indulgence, not only surrounded but accompanied... As Alex opens her house door to him, he sees kids screaming, running on the stairs, and a husband asking "Who is it Honey" "Just some guy who was lost". And the door is slammed.
Frankly, my heart as viewer sank down with Ryan's heart who was speechless and emotionally bleeding to death. I moved from being up in the air to the underground. Later, when Alex called him,
Alex: How could you just show up at my door like that?
Ryan: What do you mean? I wanted to see you. I didn't know you have a family, because you never told me.
Alex: Come on, I thought we signed up for the same thing.
Ryan: Try to help me understand. What is it you signed up for?
Alex: I thought our relationship was perfectly clear. It's...an escape.
Ryan: I'm an escape
Alex: You know, a break from our normal lives...A parenthesis.
Ryan: I'm a parenthesis?
Ryan: I thought I was part of your real life.
Alex: Look, Ryan. I'm a grown up. I don't hold a grudge. When you're ready to be adult and have fun again, just give me a call
Ryan couldn't believe what he was hearing, he just hang up. Yes that was what was originally planned for their casual relationship, but he couldn't help feeling attached, tied, and real love...feelings that he believed were reciprocal...Far from causality, escape, parenthesis...Also, even Alex is not a Backpack believer, she has a real life filled with people and family relations. When she is up in the air, she gets a break from real life, responsibilities, and commitments, but not leading an up in the air life...She is NOT his female counterpart as he once thought.
In his way back home, Ryan's dream for ten million frequent flier miles came true. The flight attendant announced that Ryan hit the ten million mile flight. Ryan didn't show any reaction. He was just stunned...telling the plane pilot "You know how many times I've thought of this moment? Played out the conversation I've with you right here...You know...I...I can't remember". This is the time, when a dream comes true, you realize this not your dream anymore. When a dream comes true, you realize you are NOT that anxious or even thrilled. When a dream comes true, you realize how superficial this dream was. When a dream comes true, you realize that for this dream you scarified you own precious life. When a dream comes true, you can't even recall any of the happy scenarios you imagined for this moment.Back to work, Ryan's manager decided he would be back in the air. Ryan accepted the decision in an attempt to proceed with the life he willingly chose for himself. He realized that sometimes it may become tooooooooo late.
The movie final featured Ryan at the airport back to work.
Ryan: Tonight, most of the people will be welcomed home by jumping dogs and squealing kids. Their spouses will ask about their day and tonight they'll sleep...The stars will wheel forth from their daytime hiding places, crowning their neighborhood with lights....And one of those lights, slightly brighter than the rest, will be my wingtip, passing over, blessing them...
