Is It Love or Companionship?

I've been watching a scene from an American soap opera, when I found the conversation very interesting. It took place between a man and his wife about the word Apathy. They were having breakfast before the husband goes to work. He was reading the newspaper and she kept looking at him and contemplating:

Wife: How about the word Apathy?
Husband: What! What did you say?
Wife: The most appropriate word "Apathy". You feel it. Don't you? Don't you?
Husband: I try not to.
Wife: That's the exact definition trying not to feel something.
Husband: I'm aware we have problems, but we also have life to live.
Wife: Oh let's go on with our lives and put our marriage on the backseat for everything else.
Husband: Is this all leading to some suggested course of action?
Wife: No just discussion.
Husband: Then it is a little self indulgence.
Wife: Well I'd like to be little self-indulgent in this issue if you don't mind. 
Husband: By all means, if it's what you want.
Wife: Of course, that's what I want.
Husband: You want to argue about this, is this what's leading us?
Wife: I can't recall the last time we had a GOOOD argument that's the problem you know? We're so polite so civil! no conflict! no confrontation!
Husband: You don't build what we built together on confrontations.
Wife: What we built? Big House in Beverly Hills, what we have 4 children, What about love, what about fulfillment? what about friendship? companionship? What we have together? We live in a big house in Beverly Hills, we sleep in the same bed and we are so far apart, absolute estrangement!
Is this satisfying to you? (he kept silent and didn't answer) Is it really? because it seems to be.
Husband: No, no it is not satisfying to me. Do you want to continue this discussion?
Wife (furiously): NO!!!!!!!!! Why don't you just go to work
Husband: I'll see you at dinner
Wife nodded Sarcastically

These two people loved each other, but what the wife misses is companionship. They got used to be in love with each other, do the same activities together every day because they have to not because they want to (We have life to live). Their relation became a daily use. However, they lost the essence of any fulfilling relationship whether love, parental relations, friendship, etc. which is Companionship.


When I thought of the idea, I started to understand why a person can feel lonely though he/she is surrounded by people who love him/her. It is not all about love, it is more about companionship: Sharing your feelings, thoughts, interests and whole being NOT merely sharing activities, Finding someone to understand you, someone with whom you can talk without boundaries, Someone you understand and ready to listen to without boundaries.

I believe that this kind of companionship can apply to any kind of relationship: brotherhood, motherhood, fatherhood, friendship, even with daughters and sons, NOT just your partner.

However, if you are lucky enough and your partner became your companion, this would be the most amazing and fulfilling relation you may ever have. At the same time, if you don't find this in your partner, either you start by being your partner's companion yourself or seek companionship elsewhere; with your sister, brother, friend, etc. But don't blame it on anybody, if you don't seek it first.


In the mid of shared activities, like raising children with your partner or working with your friend, you can search the hobbies and interests of the other party. Even if they are different from yours, you can start trying them, showing interest in them, asking to share your partner or friend in doing them. By time the other party's hobbies and interests will become a habit and an easy-to-do thing. If the other party really loves you, he/she will automatically show an equal interest in your hobbies and interest. Here begins the companionship. With time your companionship will grow, you will find yourselves getting to understand each other perfectly, and sharing everything else, your thoughts, feelings and being.



One of the other elements of companionship that a friend of mine drew my attention to is listening. Sometimes when someone wants to be listened, you may give him/her the deaf ear "You might be hearing but not listening". This often happens when you are not interested in the thing the other party is speaking about or not interested in or caring enough for him/her. In the conversation above, the husband showed no interest in listening "Is this all leading to some suggested course of action?". That is to say he is not ready to listen to just a discussion or an expression of feelings. If his wife wants from him a certain action, she can just state it and save him all this discussion. While this wasn't what she wanted, she wanted the discussion, she wanted to be self-indulgent on this subject, which he couldn't understand.

If you are looking for companionship, you should be ready to listen for things you are not interested in. The more you listen, the more you care for the other party and vice versa. The way you listen tells of the way you care for the other party. You are listening NOT out of an interest in the subject itself BUT out of concern for the other party. Being concerned about him/her helps you listen and understand. Understanding the other party will lead you to use his/her way of thinking and feeling to lift his/her burden. This is one of the main definitions of companionship, "Being able to become the other person emotionally and mentally, wearing his/her own glasses, seeing the world from his/her eyes to get to the essence of how to help him/her".

But what if you try and find yourself unable to understand? I believe that at this moment, if you are really honest and sincere in your trial to listen and understand, the other party will feel it. Your honest and sincere listening would be a proof of your companionship intentions for him/her.

Words that Found Their Way into My Mind 2

The Story of the Pencil

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point he asked: ‘Are you writing a story about what we’ve done? Is it a story about me?’ His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson: ‘I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I’m using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.’ Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn’t seem very special. ‘But it’s just like any other pencil I’ve ever seen!’ ‘That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.’ ‘First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.’ ‘Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpner. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he’s much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person. ‘Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.’ ‘Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.’ ‘Finally, the pencil’s fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. in just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action’ Source: Like the Flowing River by Paulo Coelho

هوه إحنا يا ستات عايزين أيه بالضبط؟ لحظة تأمل

اتفرجت من كام يوم على الفيلم الأجنبي ستبفورد وايفز والفيلم العربي أريد خلعًا وتذكرت فيلم أريد حلاً.

هذه الأفلام جعلتني اتعجب وأطرح هذا السؤال "هو إحنا يا ستات عايزين أيه بالضبط؟"

والسؤال لا ينطبق علينا فقط كستات شرقيات وإنما على كل الستات في كل مكان.

زمان لما كانت الست دورها في الحياة الزواج وتربية الأطفال والحفاظ على نظافة المنزل والاهتمام بالرجل وتدليعه، كان مش عاجبنا، على الرغم إن هذه السيدات والأمهات كان يقال عليهن ليدي ‏.

أصبحنا نبحث عن حرية المرأة:
• في الدراسة كويس
• في اتخاذ القرار كويس
• في العمل كويس
• في الخلع كويس
• في أي شيء كويس

وفي نفس الوقت:
• أصبحنا أقل اهتمامًا بأطفالنا مش كويس
• أصبحنا أقل اهتمامًا ببيوتنا مش كويس
• أصبجنا لا نراعي أزوجنا كما يجب مش كويس
• أصبحنا نهدد ونتوعد مش كويس
• أصبحنا جبارات في بعض الأحيان مما يفقدنا أنوثتنا برضو مش كويس

والآن وبعد أن أدركنا تقصيرنا فيما تميزت به جداتنا والأجيال الأقدم، لم نشعر بأن ما حصلنا عليه أو حصلت عليه أمهاتنا من حرية وتحقيق ذات يشفع لنا.

لهذا في الوقت الحالي نعمل جاهدات لكي نحقق كل شيء: أن نصبح مثل جداتنا وأيضًا أمهاتنا.

نحن نريد أن نكون مثل أمهاتنا: عاملات ومحققات ذاتنا ومفكرات ومشاركات في القرار ومسيطرات وبيتعملنا ألف حساب.
ونريد في نفس الوقت أن نكون مثل جداتنا: نربي الأولاد أحسن تربية ونحافظ على نظافة المنزل ونظامه وطباخات مهارات وزوجات صالحات نراعي أزوجنا ونتحلى بالابتسامة والحنية الدائمتين.

ولكن الحقيقة أننا لن نستطيع أن نغطي كل شيء، إلا إننا نكابر ونعاند ونجبر أنفسنا على تحمل ما لا طاقة لنا به لكي نحقق الوضع المثالي في كل شيء مما قد يؤدي إلى انهيار أحد الجانبين، الذات أو الأسرة، أو التقصير في كلا الجانبين (وهذا ما نسميه بالتوازن).

فنحن عندما نحقق ما نسميه التوازن، ندرك تمامًا أننا مقصرات في كلا الجانبين ونشعر بتأنيب الضمير حتى وإن كنا مقتنعات كل الاقتناع بأن هذا أقصى ما عندنا.

طيب لو قولنا نركز على جانب دون الآخر.

كأن تختار إحدانا أن تكون أمرأة عاملة لتحقيق ذاتها، ما يحدث في الحقيقة، حتى وإن كانت تستمتع بالنجاح، فإنها بينها وبين نفسها تشعر إن هناك ما ينقصها، فتصبح فرحة النجاح نصف فرحة (على رأي آصالة "نص حالة").

وإن اختارت إحدانا أن تكون ربة منزل إيمانًا منها بأن تنشئة أبناء على خلق ناجحين هو تحقيق لذاتها. عندما يأتي عليها اليوم الذي يفرغ فيه المنزل من الأبناء وينشغلوا عنها بمتطلبات الحياة، في هذه اللحظة تكون الفرحة أيضًا نصف فرحة، حيث تشعر بضياع ذاتها في ذات أبنائها.

الدنيا كئبت قوي، أنا عارفة وأسفة.

بس أنا فعلاً مش عارفة إحنا عايزين أيه؟ أنا عايزة أيه؟ أنا فعلاً اتلخبط

A Realization that Came After 28 Years

After 28 years of her life, she finally realized the MAN she has been living or may be NOT living with for her entire life.

Whenever, she was asked does she love him, she answers "Of course he is my dad". She never thought of any other reason. She wasn't that kind of girl who talks with her dad about herself, her dreams, her personal life, or even her educational or professional life. There has always been a wall of silence between them. Now, it doesn't matter why this was happening; or who’s to blame him or her.

What really matters is that after 28 years of silence, she realized the person her dad is. It took her about 7 years since she left college to know him. This realization came through others. Previously, whenever she wanted to get, buy, learn or do something she can't do on her own, she went to him. She was so authoritative in her tone "Dad you have to do it, who else should I go to, it is part of your responsibility, you always help others and not happy to help me bla, bla, bla" Her dad used to yell back at her for this way, but he never let her down. He always did what she wanted. Of course, her tone was so cruel for a dad to bear, but she couldn't realize this, since her dad returned her emotional silence with silence in his part. He never showed her how much she hurt him.

For 7 years now she started to get nicer. All of sudden, she started to realize how mean this has been. She started to ask for help in a nicer way, but still the wall of silence exists. Today, she wanted to get a car. Today, she started to realize how her father is a very loveable person. Everyone is there for him, his relatives, his friends, his companions, and even people that he barely knows. When he started to ask about the best and most affordable car for his daughter, she found many people at her command:

• Someone who helped her to get the driving license
• Someone who got her a discount from a friend of his, a salesman working in a car store
• Someone who drove the car home for her, since she is not very good at driving yet
• Someone who went with her to get the car papers and license from a very far city
• Two people who insisted on training her on driving her car

In all these steps her dad was with her. All these people, she didn’t meet or see before. They did that not for her but for her dad. She saw how these people love and appreciate her dad. The way he contributed to these people's emotional banks, helped her. She told her dad "how can I pay back for all this help from all these people". He answered in a very natural way "It is pre-paid already. Don't bother yourself with that". She realized how her dad was helpful for others, and they haven’t taken it for granted as she has. They are in a race willing to pay back and help him in whatever he wants. She realized how sincere, sensitive, considerate, trusted, and amazing person her father is in the way people treated her.

He never showed her that he once got hurt from her past arrogance, ignorance, and unappreciation.

Now after years of silence, she can't tell him:

• How much she is touched by people's love to him
• How much she appreciates his contribution to her life, that she never did before
• How much she regrets taking him for granted
• How much she wants to tell him she loves him so much, but she can't now since she never did before
• How much she fears he might not understand what she passed through that makes her so sincere in saying for the 1st time in her life "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DAD AND I APPRECIATE YOUR KINDNESS AND BACKING ME UP IN EVERYTHING" Is it too late?
• How many times he drove her to tears by his kindness and unconditional love and the love she sees in people's eyes

Yes, may be she doesn't talk much to him, but she wishes to break this wall of silence and invite him into her life. She thinks she might deserve this now after this realization. But would he forgive her or may be his kindness and sincerity are already blinding him to the hurt she caused him.

The problem is that she can't tell him any of this. She explained it to me. I wrote it. I hope that someday someone who knows them both can explain to him all this. I'm really driven to tears; they are freezing in my eyes.

وماذا بعد؟

هذه الفكرة مستوحاة من قصة لإحدى صديقاتي. أرجو أن تقرئيها لتعرفي ما يدور بداخلك.



وماذا بعدما
قاومت رفضي

وماذا بعدما
داعبت إحساسي بكلماتك الدافئة

وماذا بعدما
خاطبت عقلي بأفكارك الحرة

وماذا بعدما
أظهرت تقديرك لذاتي وعقلي

وماذا بعدما
عرفت كل نقاط قوتي وضعفي

وماذا بعدما
أحببتني كما أنا

وماذا بعدما
أفصحت لي بما في قلبك من مشاعر

وماذا بعدما
أهديتني الورود وكل ما أحب

وماذا بعدما
تخليت عن أنانيتك لأجلي

وماذا بعدما
أصبحت تعشق نبرة صوتي

وماذا بعدما
أصبحت لا ترى في الوجود غيري

وماذا بعدما
غمرتني بحنانك

وماذا بعدما
جفت دموعي بكلمة منك

وماذا بعدما
التمست لي الأعذار

وماذا بعدما
وجدت منك كل ما انتظر

تُرى

هل كل هذا حلمًا أم حقيقة؟
هل هو حقيقي أم زائف؟
هل أعترف لك بحبي؟
وإذا فعلت
هل ستشعر إنك ملكتني؟
هل ستفقد اهتمامك بي؟
هل سأصبح من مسلمات حياتك؟
هل ستشعر بالملل لأني لن أعد تحديًا لك؟

فأنا فعلاً أحبك
وأكثر ما أحبه هو إحساسي بحبك لي
وأكثر ما أحبه هو إحساسي بضعفي تجاهك
وأكثر ما أحبه هو إحساسي بوجودك إلى جواري
وأكثر ما أحبه هو إحساسي بأنني امرأة تستند إلى رجل
وأكثر ما أحبه هو إحساسي بأنني أهم ما في وجودك
وأكثر ما أحبه هو إحساسي بأنك أهم ما في وجودي

Why Do You Insist?

Why do you insist on
Suffocating me

Why do you insist on
Trapping me

Why do you insist on
Hurting me

Why do you insist on
Having an obsessive power over me

Why do you insist on
Controlling me

Why do you insist on
Taking away my freedom

Why do you insist on
Treating me as a child or even a toddler

Why do you insist on
Distrusting my mind

Why do you insist on
Driving me to the edge

Why do you insist on
Driving me to hurt you

Why do you insist on
Making me fear you

Why do you insist on
Making me feel guilty

Why do you insist on
Making me worry about losing you

Why do you insist on
Refusing to understand

Why do you insist on
Blaming me for everything

Why do you insist on
Disrespecting my will

Why do you insist on
Calling me a devil

Why do you insist on
Bringing up the worst in me

Why do you insist on
Believing you Know me the best

Why do you insist on
Having the final say regardless of its destructive impact

Why do you insist on
Victimizing yourself so you get what you want

Why do you insist on
Becoming my enemy

Why do you insist on
Suffocating me this way

This is how she currently feels towards a person, whom she loves by nature and who sometimes drives her crazy. However, she would never wish to cut this person off her life. Though this person sometimes suffocates her, this person is the jewel of her heart. Please, consider the way you treat her sometimes.

هوه إحنا ليه مش طايقين بعض؟؟؟

سؤال طرحته علي أستاذتي ومعلمتي التي أكن لها احترام كبير. وكان الموضوع ليه الناس بقت مش طايقة بعضها. ظللت أفكر في هذا الموضوع إلى أن توصلت إلى عدة أسباب قد تختلف من فرد لفرد ومن حالة لحالة:

· إحنا مش طايقين بعض علشان لا نحترم اختلاف الآخر، فالخلاف في الرأي أصبح يفسد للود قضية.

· إحنا مش طايقين بعض علشان بنسلك أيسر الطرق لرفض الآخر ككل وليس بعض أفكاره. فإذا اختلفنا مع الآخر في جانب مثل الدين أو فكرة معينة، يصبح هذا الآخر مرفوضًا ككل شكلاً وموضوعًا. فنحن لا ننظر إلى كل فكرة أو كل شيء يمثله هذا الشخص على حدة وبحيادية تامة.

إحنا مش طايقين بعض علشان دائمًا ما نتوقع الشر في الآخرين. فغالبًا ما نعتقد أن نية هذا الشخص أو ذاك سيئة.

 إحنا مش طايقين بعض علشان أصبحنا نخاف أن نُظهر الجانب الإيجابي الطيب منا. نحب أن نُظهر الجانب السلبي - القاسي - المتحفز، اعتقادًا منا بأن الطيبة وتوقع الخير وحسن النية تجاه الآخرين قد يٌفسر كنوع من السذاجة بل والعبط.

· إحنا مش طايقين بعض علشان لا نصارح بعضنا بما نظن أو نعتقد. ونستمر في مضاعفة المشاعر السلبية تجاه بعضنا دون أن نفهم وجهة النظر الأخرى.

 إحنا مش طايقين بعض علشان كثيرًا ما يعتقد الفرد أن رأيه هو الرأي السليم وما يُطبق عليه يطبق ١٠٠٪ على الغير. في هذه الحالة إذا اختلف الآخر معي في الرأي، إذن فهو خطأ  ٪١٠٠

نعم قد يكون رأي الفرد صحيح ومناسب له فقط وليس بالضرورة صحيح ومناسب لغيره.

· إحنا مش طايقين بعض علشان بعدنا بعض الشيء عن تعاليم ديننا الحنيف الذي حثنا على تقبل الآخر والمشورة واحترام نتائج هذه المشورة وما ينتج عنها من قرار يطبق على الجميع.

· إحنا مش طايقين بعض علشان تركنا الآخرين يتحكموا في حالتنا المزاجية. لو قررت إني أواظب على السعادة والابتسام والتفاؤل سأجد أنه من الصعب أن يؤثر أحد على هذا المزاج مما يدفعني في بعض الأحيان إلى التماس العذر للآخرين لأنني قررت أن أتفاءل وأبتسم.


ممكن نتخلى عن هذه الأسباب ونبحث عن الأسباب اللي تخلينا نطيق بعض!!!!!
ا

Everyone Deserves the Magical Effect of Smiling

For all those who think that their mood is governed by their surroundings.
We used to hear people saying:
If you smile this will effect your inner soul and make you happy
We used to answer
That's nonsense

However, I did it people.
I realized that by smiling I can get over all my surroundings. I realized happiness is a decision. If you really decide to become happy, you will be able to. The first step to happiness is to smile. Wear the smiling face everyday in the morning.

• Smiling makes you love your face and your own self, when you look at the mirror every morning.
  
• Smiling at the face of others (normal people) makes them smile at your face, thus, making your smile bigger.
• Smiling and deciding to keep the smile makes everything else in the day so trivial and worthless.
• Smiling makes you calm and receptive to people comments and words, thus, objective.
• Smiling makes you find excuses for others, thus, reducing conflicts.
• Smiling at the face of others is a kind of mercy that God demanded from us, thus, it makes you gain God's blessing.
• Smiling makes you see the positive side of everything, thus, it makes you optimistic.
• Smiling opens your mind and heart to creative ideas and even challenges; you don't have the negative thoughts and emotions that can block your mind and heart.
  
• Smiling makes you a nicer person towards other, thus, increasing your emotional banks.

Keep on telling yourself "I'm happy" and keep smiling, "Oh I'll keep my smile, it makes me happy, nothing and no one deserves to take that from me".
Do it for a week and see how it will affect your inner soul, mood, and relations. I assure you, you will do it for the week after and after....etc.

From a person who previously underestimated the Magical Effect of Smiling.

Words that Found Their Way into My Mind 1

A magnetized piece of iron will lift about twelve times its own weight. But if you demagnatize the same piece of iron, it will not lift even a feather.
In the same way, there are two types of people. Those who are magnetized are full of confidence and faith. they are born to succeed and to win.
Others, so many others, are demagnetized. They are full of fears and doubts. When an opportunity comes, they say "What if I fail? I might lose money. People will laugh at me." People of that sort will not get very far in life. Their fear to go forward makes them simply stay where they are.


The law of your mind is the law of belief. This means to believe in the way your mind works, to believe in belief itself.
It is not the thing believed in, but the belief in your own mind that brings you the results. Stop accepting the false beliefs, opinions, superstitions, and fears that plague our humankind. Begin believing in the eternal verities and truths of life that never change. At this point you will move onward, upward, and Godward.


Your prayer is answered according to the universal law of action and reaction. Thought is incipient action. The reaction is the response from your subconscious mind that corresponds to the nature of your thought. Fill your mind with the concept of harmony, health, peace, and godwill, and wonders will happen in your life.

From the early pages of "The Power of your Subconscious Mind" for Dr. Joseph Murphy

Have you ever thought you can drive someone away!!

Have you ever thought why a partner, a friend, or a colleague distances himself/herself from you?

Why he/she prefers to go along without you?

What will you do, if someone left you and doesn't want to hear from you?

Will you call this person a traitor or bad or unfair person?

Will you pity yourself and feel you are a victim of a heartless person?

Would you stop for a while before throwing your excuses on how this or that person left you without explanation?

Would you have the guts to confront yourself?!!!

Have you taken this person for granted?

Have you always believed he/she will be at your command anytime?

Have you hurt him/her before?

Have you talked?

After talking, have you repeated all the things that upset this person before, giving yourself the excuse that you are different, he/she must accept that?

Have you tried to avoid upsetting this person, since you know what he/she is sensitive to?

Have you noticed you hurt that person and continued on hurting him/her?

Have you believed that whenever you would like to talk and explain, this person will always listen and understand?

Haven't you ever thought that at one point, it might be too late to explain?

Have you really cared for this person the way he/she cared for you?

Have you always put yourself first even in the smallest things?

Have you always depended on letting this person be the one who asks you about what bothers you?

Have you ever cared to ask this person what bothers him/her?

Have you ever thought that at one point this person will be bored of his/her feelings being ignored?

Have you ever thought how this person cared for you and helped you?

Have you noticed how you frowned at that person while you smiled at the others?

Have you ever realized how cruel you were?

Have you ever thought WHY this person left you though it is not a nature in him/her to give up?

Have you ever thought WHY your pleading to this person is no more effective?

Think, think, think.......

If you lost one person, you may not have him/her back.

However, make it your mission not lose another; one that you really care for.

غرفة التأمينات

أردت أن أجدد بطاقتي المدنية فذهبت في رحلة صباحية إلى مكتب التأمينات الاجتماعية لأحصل على الختم المطلوب. كان الجو جميلاً والمكان متربًا وزحمااااااااا. كالعادة أصطف الرجال في طابور طويل بالعرض والسيدات في طابور قصير بالطول مكون من سيدة واحدة ولكنها لا تظهر وسط طابور الرجال اللي بالطول والعرض. ما علينا، جاء رجل وزوجته لكي تجدد البطاقة هي الأخرى وأخذت دورها فيما يسمى بطابور السيدات ولذقت فيها ما هي معاها حماية ذكورية. زوجها وقف بجانبها في صف الرجال العريض. لم يكن لطابور النساء وجودًا إلى أن جاء هذا الرجل مفتول العضلات الذي أدخل زوجته بالعافية وطبعًا أنا لذق فيها. المهم ساعد الرجل زوجته في اختراق هذا الحصن المنيع من الرجال وحصلت على توقيع الموظف على الورق. بعد ذهابهما مددت يدي بالورق في فتحة الشباك الصغيرة المستديرة فإذا بأحد الرجال يدخل ورقة من الفتحة الموجودة بأسفل الشباك. طبعًا الموظف ماعبرنيش وأخذ الورق من الراجل اللي ذيه. ما عالينا، بصراحة ما خيبش أملي فهذا هو ما توقعت بالضبط.

بعد كده تمكنت من أن أمتلك الشباك وأسده بكل ما أتيت من عرض البنية مددت ذراعي لكي أحمي دوري وسط هذا الكم الهائل من الرجال. ما علينا، أعطيت الموظف الورق وأخذ يتفحصه ثم أعاده لي مع ورقة صغيرة دون أن تخرج كلمة واحده من فمه.
سألت: في حاجة تانية أعملها
برضو ماعبرنيش وأخذ الورق من الراجل اللي بعدي رغم الحماية التي فرضتها على الشباك.
ثم سألت مرة أخرى بصوت أعلى: في حاجة تاني!!!!!!!!
رد عليا بصوت خافت: أختمي الورق
رديت: أيوه حضرتك أختمه منين
رد بقرف وتأفف وكأن الكلام بفلوس: آخر الطورقة

ما علينا، ذهبت إلى آخر الطورقة زي ما قال فوجدت غرفة في الآخر سألت السيدات اللي في الغرفة
أريد أن أختم ورق البطاقة
برضو ما حدش رد
كررت سؤالي حوالي ثلاث مرات إلى أن تكرمت إحدى السيدات وشاورت بيديها ناحية الشمال. ذهبت إلى المكتب اللي في الشمال، فوجدت هذه السيدة بتشخط فيا وبتزعق بصوت عالي عمر ما أبويا وأمي زعأولي كده
الأوضة اللي عل الشمال
رديت: ياماما!!! أنا أسفة حضرتك ما تزعليش حاضر

ذهبت إلى الأوضة التانية
أنا: حضرتك أنا عايزة أختم ورق البطاقة
أخذت الموظفة الورق وقالت لي: عايزة إمضة مدير القسم ومدير المكتب
أنا: مش فاهمة حضرتك
ردت عليا بنرفزة وبصة جلاد على وشك أن يجلد المتهم: آخر الطورقة الناحية التانية مطرح ما جيتي
أنا بكل أدب وهدوء: حاضر حضرتك
بصوت واطي: يادي الطورقة اللي محيراكم
ما علينا

رحت لآخر الطورقة الناحية التانية
سألت موظف: لو سمحت أنا عايزة أوقع الورق من مدير القسم ومدير المكتب
الموظف: مديرة القسم مدام هناء
وأخذ ينظر في الورق الذي كان ينظر إليه من قبل دون أدنى حركة أخرى
أنا: أيوه حضرتك هي فين مدام هناء
بتأفف برضو وكائنها سمة غرفة التحقيقات قصدي التأمينات: المكتب اللي هناك
رحت للمكتب اللي هناك
أنا: حضرتك ممكن توقيعك على ورق البطاقة
مدام هناء: ثانية وحدة (وكأنها عايزة تقولي ما تصبري ياختي هو أنا فضيالك) ما علينا
استنيت ربع ساعة مع العلم إن ما فيش غيري. كل الحكاية إن مدام هناء مشغولة شوية بتتكلم مع موظف من أفراد الكتيبة قصدي القسم بتاعها
ما علينا
أخذت الورق وقامت بتوقعيه. أرتكبت نفس الجرم تاني واستجرئت وسألت: هوه فين مكتب مدير المكتب.
مدام هناء: يا فتاح يا عليم آخر الطورقة
رديت بيني وبين نفسي: ربنا يستر يا رب أخرج من الغرفة بسلام
ما علينا

رحت آخر الطورقة تاني وجدت مديرة المكتب. ست كده من الوزن التقيل يدوبك مكفيها مكتب لوحدها ومسكة قلم في أيد وسنكوتش طعمية في الأيد التانية. من كتر الطعمية اللي في فمها بتشاور. شاورتلي علشان أديها الورق وبعدين شاورت على البطاقة. الست معادنهاش وقت عندها عدد معين من أقراص الطعمية المطلوب إنجازه في أسرع وقت ممكن. التأمينات بتأفل الساعة 12 يا جماعة.
ما علينا

المهم حصلت على التوقيعين. وذهبت مرة أخرى للست بتاعة الختم. وجدتها منهمكة في حديث مع زميلاتها حول ملوخية أمبارح أد أيه كانت حلوة والراجل كان حيتجنن من جمالها.
أنا: حضرتك أنا جبت التوقيعات
لا حياة لمن تنادي دا أيه الإزعاج اللي أنا عملاه ده
أنا: حضرتك، حضرتك، حضرتك
الست الموظفة: أيوه حاضر نعم في حاجة
أنا: واللهي أنا جبت التوقيعات ذي ما قلتي لي
الست الموظفة: حاضر يا ستي أهوه
طخ طخ حصلت على الختمين

طلعت أجري من غرفة التأمينات أبحث عن تاكسي بس بصراحة كنت هلكانة من الضحك لدرجة إن سواق التاكسي قال لي:
جميل إن الواحد يصطبح بوجه سمح مبتسم

Words that Touched Me!

I'm Not Immune to Gloom

EVA
Time and time again I've said that I don't care
That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through
and through
But every time it matters all my words desert me
So anyone can hurt me--and they do
So what happens now?

CHE
Another suitcase in another hall

EVA
So what happens now?


CHE
Take your picture off another wall

EVA
Where am I going to?

CHE
You'll get by you always have before

From Evita Movie

The Day We Drifted Apart & After

Yes, the day we drifted apart
I felt pain, betrayal, anger, pity, and sorrow.

However,


After the day we drifted apart
I recognized that I can live without you

After the day we drifted apart
I realized that you are not the center of the world

After the day we drifted apart
I lifted a burden off my shoulders

After the day we drifted apart
I was able to put you in the right place

After the day we drifted apart
I became free of worrying about you getting me wrong

After the day we drifted apart
I found I have many other aspects of life

After the day we drifted apart
I saw life as a valuable gift

After the day we drifted apart
I discovered the world as a beautiful place

After the day we drifted apart
I felt the right to enjoy my life

After the day we drifted apart
I learnt how to love other people

After the day we drifted apart
I became a nicer person

After the day we drifted apart
I was able to love myself

After the day we drifted apart
I shined anew

Thank you for ALL the days AFTER the day we drifted apart


Written by me

I Love this Man

He loves me the way I’m

And so do I

He respects my difference

And so do I

He appreciates my mind

And so do I

He gives me my privacy

And so do I

He is here for me

And so do I

He knows I have a will

And so do I

He looks for continuity

And so do I

He believes in me

And so do I

He is proud of me

And so do I

He shares his feelings with me

And so do I

He shares his thoughts with me

And so do I

He cares deeply for me

And so do I

He believes I’m the only one for him

And so do I

He sees his children in me

And so do I

He sees his success in mine

And so do I

He understands how I feel and think

And so do I

He knows what bothers me and what not

And so do I

He knows what pleases me

And so do I

He deliberately pleases me

And so do I

A Man I’m looking forward to

Consider their Feelings and Don't Take them for Granted

When you take someone for granted, you may feel he/she is at your command any time. This may drive you to ignore or to distance yourself from him or her, or may be seek a different person. At this moment the person you took for granted starts wondering:
Am I no more important in his or her life.
Am I causing him or her a burden to care for, while he or she doesn't really care.
On the other side, you may say:
I no more accept the ties I'm bounded by.
I may just go away.
I don't have to emotionally depend on this or that person.
I know that whenever I'd like to be back, I'll find this person at my command.
This usually happens between family members.

On reaching a certain age, adults may feel that they no more depend on their parents. They start seeking others like friends, husbands, wives or distance themselves by any other ways from their parents. They don't feel the pain digging inside the hearts of their parents. They may feel that their parents are obsessed by controlling their lives. This might be true to a certain extent.
Some parents give their children their freedom from an early age. However, once the parents feel their children are getting out of control, even when they reach an old age, they get hurt.
Children, on the other hand, see that their parents don't have the right to that pain and they are overreacting. But when the children become in their parents' shoes, they start feeling the same. Parents actually feel that their children are taking them for granted; doing whatever they want without caring for their parents' opinions, since they know that whatever happens their parents will never go away.

It is only when you live alone without any connection to your family, you start longing for their opinions. At this time, you may not be able to reach them. Then only, you will start feeling you shouldn't have taken your parents for granted. You start thinking back in the times when you let your parents down thinking they are overreacting.

The only way out then is to know that you will never be able to ignore your parents, since one day you will need them. You may seek their opinions even if you are decided on a certain thing. Think of these opinions objectively. Get rid of your arrogance. If not convinced, don't do it but show them that you considered their opinions and they mean much to you. Show them they are still part of your life and still have an effect on it. They deserve to feel that always, since they know that they are the most ones who cared much for you, helped you through all your ordeals, and still caring. They need to keep feeling so. If they lost this feeling, they get frustrated and feel that whatever they did was useless.

Consider their feeling and don't take them for granted.

Parents from their parts must from the very beginning understand that their children are like the birds; when they grow up they will leave their parents' nest. Hence, when you become a parent don't centralize your whole life on your children. Don't only give them some space but also give yourself some space away from them. Track for yourself another goal of life away from your children's lives. Let it be a work goal to assert yourself or even try to achieve a personal wish like traveling all over the world. Have something for yourself. It is not wise to live for your children and only your children. Some day they will be no more children just like you.

كلمات لمستني

صداقة القنافذ
الصداقة التي تشبه شيك على بياض... أو كارت بلانش... ليست صداقة بقدر ما هي خضوع وتسليم

الصداقة الكاملة هي التي تحتوي على قدر من هذه الخلافات الفاصلة الحافزة المنبهة المنشطة

الصديقان النموذجيان هما كزوج من القنافذ...يتعاطفان ويتعاونان ويتلازمان ويتقاربان...ولكن لا يذوبان في بعضهما لأن كل واحد له درقة من الأشواك تحميه من أن يقتحم عليه الآخر خصوصيته وسريته وحدانية نفسه وقدسية استقلاله

أنا انظر إلى هذه الخلافات على إنها وليدة الشخصية الإنسانية...وعلى إنها طبيعية...ليست شرًا خالصًا وليست لعنةً خالصة
الدكتور مصطفى محمود من كتاب يوميات نص الليل

To My Sister Maggie

To My Wonderful Sister Maggie,

In my life, experience taught me NOT to expect much from people, even my closest persons. I learnt from you the meaning of responsibility, how to be self-responsible and responsibility towards others. May be I’m not that responsible towards others, but I know how to bear responsibilities through you.

Going back to NOT expecting much from people, you smashed this belief, especially when it comes to you and your family.

I really want to thank you so much for your care about me when I was in Kuwait. Let me explain to you 2 cases; the case I expected and the actual case.

The case that I expected was satisfactory to me; I had no problem with it at all, if it was the actual case:

• I thought we will meet only in weekends, due to the exam period and my work conditions.
• I thought I’ll do my shopping myself in most of the days.
• I thought I’ll thoroughly depend on myself in most of the things.

The Actual Case that made me feel I’m important to you more than I ever expected is:

• You were with me heart and soul in every little thing in the morning, the afternoon, and the night.
• We almost met every day, Ihab was so nice to me bringing me to your place from work almost every day. In a number of times, I was late and never felt any annoyance on his part.
• Every day you had to bring me back to the hotel.
• Mariuma and Shery were very nice and loving. I was really very touched when they stayed with me for a night. It was the best night I had there.
• You went shopping with me and did a lot of things for me, though your daughters were in the middle of their mid-year exams. You never let me go shopping myself.
• A day when I forgot my charger at work, you drove to the hotel and brought me your computer charger, though Shery was having an Arabic test 2 days later.
• I felt your keenness and sincerity to help me get whatever I want.

What really surprised me was a very strange question you asked a day before leaving Kuwait “Hope we didn’t upset you. Did we?” I think after all that, I’ll never be justified to be upset with you or any person from your loving family.

Thank you so much, I really felt loved, important, and cared for more than I ever expected. You made me let go my belief “not to expect much even from the closest persons”.

Now I believe “I can expect much specially from the closest person to my heart Maggie” I Love YOU More Than You Can Ever Imagine. You are such a sweet, amazing, loving, and responsible sister. God bless you and your family in everything you do or wish to do or have.

For 15 years now I used to miss you when you are at Kuwait, but this year now I’m missing you and your family more than ever.

هوه علشان أنا بنت/ست

هوه علشان أنا ست في مجتمع ذكوري بحت يحق لأي حد محاولة استغلالي
أو يضحك عليا
بياع، سواق تاكسي، عميل

هوه علشان أنا بنت حكش من أي حد يعلي صوته شوية يعني
خدوهم بالصوت ليغلبوكم

هوه علشان أنا بنت لازم أفقد صفات الرقة والأنوثة
علشان أرد وأدافع عن نفسي

هوه علشان أنا بنت لازم استنى اللي يحميني ويدافع عني

هوه علشان أنا بنت لازم اعتمد على رجل سواء أب أو أخ أو قريب أو زوج

هوه عشان أنا بنت مسموح لأي حد يزاحم ويخليني اتحرج وأوسع في طابور التذاكر مثلاً

هوه علشان أنا بنت مستقلة وعمري ما حسست حد إني عبء وبعرف أتصرف في أمور كثيرة (طبعًا مش كل حاجة) ممكن أتحب، لكن لما نيجي للجواز تظهر الإمارة وأني لازم اتبع فلان علشان ده الزوج والمفروض ألغي عقلي يأما ماتجوزش أحسن

هوه علشان أنا بنت لازم علشان أحج أو أعمل عمرة يكون معايا محرم
رغم إن الشرع بيسمح لي بالسفر طالما في صحبة آمنة

هوه علشان أنا بنت لما أسوق في الشارع وأرتكب خطأ يبقى علشان إحنا ستات ما بنعرفش نسوق ولو كان راجل بيقى معلش أهي غلطة

حد يجاوبني هل العالم هوه اللي غلط ولا أنا اللي مش طبيعية؟

Arabize Reading Group Story

Our book club journey started on 14^th May 2007. We are really blessed by two inspiring and open-minded ladies; our CEO; Mrs. Manal Amin, and our Consultant; Ms. Lobna Zietoun. A year ago, in an attempt to enhance their employees' skills, they decided to form groups: A reading group, newsletter group, knowledge base group, mind mapping group…etc.

Actually, I’m a member of 3 groups now but the most successful group is the reading group. We started with 11 members including Mrs. Manal and Ms. Lobna. In one-year time, we became 25 members.

In the first month and as an encouragement, Mrs. Manal and Ms. Lobna bought all the members two books for the first month. Later, we made a schedule in which every two members suggest a book for the month. We are used to set a gathering date every month after working hours. We discuss the book/books of the month. In the course of action, we make mind maps for the book themes, comparisons with our daily lives or current events, comparisons with other books, and comparisons with movies or some extracts from them.

The selection of books was widely open. We read various books eastern and western, Arabic and English, novels, dramas, and soft skill books. Our list of books included the Alchemist for Paulo Coelho, The Beggar for the Egyptian Nobel prize winner Naguib Mahfouz, Men from Mars and Women from Venus for John Gray, Around the World in 200 Days for Anees Mansour…etc.

What is really exciting is that some of us who were reluctant readers became keen ones, others read in fields or kinds of books they haven’t heard or read about at all, others developed critique skills, and most of us found very inspiring thoughts in the books we read.

Starting from last February, we have had a sub-team from the reading group reading and analyzing Steven Covey’s 7 Habits. The team is divided into pairs. Every two members are responsible for a habit. They study and present it to team members. Each month we have a habit. What’s really amazing is that each month we put a habit into action and make our practical exercises to be able to continue with the following habit to become effective people. It is also so important here to highlight the team spirit we work with on the 7 habits. Regardless of who is responsible for presenting a certain habit, we help them by every means. Actually, each month presentation is an outcome of a team work rather than 2 persons. We are learning how to share a common goal and work for it with a team spirit.

In celebrating our year one anniversary, we had several ideas. First, Mrs. Manal and Ms. Lobna bought us remarkable books, a book for each. We decided to make a list of these books (25 books) and have them shared among us. Second, some of us re-read the first book we had (The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho) and made a storytelling meeting for the book club newcomers to tell them the story and reflect on how it affected each of us during the whole year. We also gave each of them The Alchemist book as a gift. Third, in appreciation to the first group members, Ms. Lobna gave everyone a book matching his/her interests.

It is not me only who is proud of this experience but all of us: people who encouraged us, our CEO and Consultant, and even ourselves for being persistent on keeping and developing our reading group.

Do it Your Way Or Else You Won't Be Yourself

What do you feel when you're told that you're wrong? Don't do it this way, you have to do it as someone else did to get what you want, which is probably what the others want for you.

Actually I'm board. Why does everyone give himself the right to ask people to do what he believes is right. What about the other person? Is he given the chance to think what he wants and how he wants to achieve it?

Examples are many. I have a friend who is a housewife and she doesn't have children. However, she is so satisfied with her life. She reads a lot, learns sewing and does lots of other activities that she likes to do. Everybody else is blaming her. You know that staff of "You have to work to make your life useful", "You are trapped at home", "Your mind will get frozen and you won't know what's going outside" etc.

No one ever asked her how she enjoys her time at home? No one ever thought that it is her own free life choice; she is highly satisfied with it. This is her way of life, even if it doesn't agree with most of us.

This drives us to the conclusion that what satisfies me doesn't necessary satisfy others. We have to look for our way in our own way to be satisfied. Even if, we may have some regrets, it is fair enough that we did it our own way.

Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not telling you to discard others' advice. We have to ask for advice, but at the end we have our own life and decisions that may be positively affected by others' advice without drifting from the course we planned for ourselves.

"When you see others doing something that brings great success, you might want to follow what they do. If you also love doing what they are doing, then this is great for you. But what if you hate doing it? How well do you think it’s going to work for you? You might find some success with it if you keep working harder and harder, but it’s not going to make you happy. You’re not going to have a sense ofsatisfaction each time you complete such an activity. It will probably just leave you drained.", from the article "Real Success Comes from Doing it Your Way".

Now I'll let you with an extract from Frank Sinatra's "I did it My Way" that summarizes the whole thing:

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way
I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way"For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!
Yes, it was my way