To My Sister Maggie

To My Wonderful Sister Maggie,

In my life, experience taught me NOT to expect much from people, even my closest persons. I learnt from you the meaning of responsibility, how to be self-responsible and responsibility towards others. May be I’m not that responsible towards others, but I know how to bear responsibilities through you.

Going back to NOT expecting much from people, you smashed this belief, especially when it comes to you and your family.

I really want to thank you so much for your care about me when I was in Kuwait. Let me explain to you 2 cases; the case I expected and the actual case.

The case that I expected was satisfactory to me; I had no problem with it at all, if it was the actual case:

• I thought we will meet only in weekends, due to the exam period and my work conditions.
• I thought I’ll do my shopping myself in most of the days.
• I thought I’ll thoroughly depend on myself in most of the things.

The Actual Case that made me feel I’m important to you more than I ever expected is:

• You were with me heart and soul in every little thing in the morning, the afternoon, and the night.
• We almost met every day, Ihab was so nice to me bringing me to your place from work almost every day. In a number of times, I was late and never felt any annoyance on his part.
• Every day you had to bring me back to the hotel.
• Mariuma and Shery were very nice and loving. I was really very touched when they stayed with me for a night. It was the best night I had there.
• You went shopping with me and did a lot of things for me, though your daughters were in the middle of their mid-year exams. You never let me go shopping myself.
• A day when I forgot my charger at work, you drove to the hotel and brought me your computer charger, though Shery was having an Arabic test 2 days later.
• I felt your keenness and sincerity to help me get whatever I want.

What really surprised me was a very strange question you asked a day before leaving Kuwait “Hope we didn’t upset you. Did we?” I think after all that, I’ll never be justified to be upset with you or any person from your loving family.

Thank you so much, I really felt loved, important, and cared for more than I ever expected. You made me let go my belief “not to expect much even from the closest persons”.

Now I believe “I can expect much specially from the closest person to my heart Maggie” I Love YOU More Than You Can Ever Imagine. You are such a sweet, amazing, loving, and responsible sister. God bless you and your family in everything you do or wish to do or have.

For 15 years now I used to miss you when you are at Kuwait, but this year now I’m missing you and your family more than ever.

هوه علشان أنا بنت/ست

هوه علشان أنا ست في مجتمع ذكوري بحت يحق لأي حد محاولة استغلالي
أو يضحك عليا
بياع، سواق تاكسي، عميل

هوه علشان أنا بنت حكش من أي حد يعلي صوته شوية يعني
خدوهم بالصوت ليغلبوكم

هوه علشان أنا بنت لازم أفقد صفات الرقة والأنوثة
علشان أرد وأدافع عن نفسي

هوه علشان أنا بنت لازم استنى اللي يحميني ويدافع عني

هوه علشان أنا بنت لازم اعتمد على رجل سواء أب أو أخ أو قريب أو زوج

هوه عشان أنا بنت مسموح لأي حد يزاحم ويخليني اتحرج وأوسع في طابور التذاكر مثلاً

هوه علشان أنا بنت مستقلة وعمري ما حسست حد إني عبء وبعرف أتصرف في أمور كثيرة (طبعًا مش كل حاجة) ممكن أتحب، لكن لما نيجي للجواز تظهر الإمارة وأني لازم اتبع فلان علشان ده الزوج والمفروض ألغي عقلي يأما ماتجوزش أحسن

هوه علشان أنا بنت لازم علشان أحج أو أعمل عمرة يكون معايا محرم
رغم إن الشرع بيسمح لي بالسفر طالما في صحبة آمنة

هوه علشان أنا بنت لما أسوق في الشارع وأرتكب خطأ يبقى علشان إحنا ستات ما بنعرفش نسوق ولو كان راجل بيقى معلش أهي غلطة

حد يجاوبني هل العالم هوه اللي غلط ولا أنا اللي مش طبيعية؟

Arabize Reading Group Story

Our book club journey started on 14^th May 2007. We are really blessed by two inspiring and open-minded ladies; our CEO; Mrs. Manal Amin, and our Consultant; Ms. Lobna Zietoun. A year ago, in an attempt to enhance their employees' skills, they decided to form groups: A reading group, newsletter group, knowledge base group, mind mapping group…etc.

Actually, I’m a member of 3 groups now but the most successful group is the reading group. We started with 11 members including Mrs. Manal and Ms. Lobna. In one-year time, we became 25 members.

In the first month and as an encouragement, Mrs. Manal and Ms. Lobna bought all the members two books for the first month. Later, we made a schedule in which every two members suggest a book for the month. We are used to set a gathering date every month after working hours. We discuss the book/books of the month. In the course of action, we make mind maps for the book themes, comparisons with our daily lives or current events, comparisons with other books, and comparisons with movies or some extracts from them.

The selection of books was widely open. We read various books eastern and western, Arabic and English, novels, dramas, and soft skill books. Our list of books included the Alchemist for Paulo Coelho, The Beggar for the Egyptian Nobel prize winner Naguib Mahfouz, Men from Mars and Women from Venus for John Gray, Around the World in 200 Days for Anees Mansour…etc.

What is really exciting is that some of us who were reluctant readers became keen ones, others read in fields or kinds of books they haven’t heard or read about at all, others developed critique skills, and most of us found very inspiring thoughts in the books we read.

Starting from last February, we have had a sub-team from the reading group reading and analyzing Steven Covey’s 7 Habits. The team is divided into pairs. Every two members are responsible for a habit. They study and present it to team members. Each month we have a habit. What’s really amazing is that each month we put a habit into action and make our practical exercises to be able to continue with the following habit to become effective people. It is also so important here to highlight the team spirit we work with on the 7 habits. Regardless of who is responsible for presenting a certain habit, we help them by every means. Actually, each month presentation is an outcome of a team work rather than 2 persons. We are learning how to share a common goal and work for it with a team spirit.

In celebrating our year one anniversary, we had several ideas. First, Mrs. Manal and Ms. Lobna bought us remarkable books, a book for each. We decided to make a list of these books (25 books) and have them shared among us. Second, some of us re-read the first book we had (The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho) and made a storytelling meeting for the book club newcomers to tell them the story and reflect on how it affected each of us during the whole year. We also gave each of them The Alchemist book as a gift. Third, in appreciation to the first group members, Ms. Lobna gave everyone a book matching his/her interests.

It is not me only who is proud of this experience but all of us: people who encouraged us, our CEO and Consultant, and even ourselves for being persistent on keeping and developing our reading group.

Do it Your Way Or Else You Won't Be Yourself

What do you feel when you're told that you're wrong? Don't do it this way, you have to do it as someone else did to get what you want, which is probably what the others want for you.

Actually I'm board. Why does everyone give himself the right to ask people to do what he believes is right. What about the other person? Is he given the chance to think what he wants and how he wants to achieve it?

Examples are many. I have a friend who is a housewife and she doesn't have children. However, she is so satisfied with her life. She reads a lot, learns sewing and does lots of other activities that she likes to do. Everybody else is blaming her. You know that staff of "You have to work to make your life useful", "You are trapped at home", "Your mind will get frozen and you won't know what's going outside" etc.

No one ever asked her how she enjoys her time at home? No one ever thought that it is her own free life choice; she is highly satisfied with it. This is her way of life, even if it doesn't agree with most of us.

This drives us to the conclusion that what satisfies me doesn't necessary satisfy others. We have to look for our way in our own way to be satisfied. Even if, we may have some regrets, it is fair enough that we did it our own way.

Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not telling you to discard others' advice. We have to ask for advice, but at the end we have our own life and decisions that may be positively affected by others' advice without drifting from the course we planned for ourselves.

"When you see others doing something that brings great success, you might want to follow what they do. If you also love doing what they are doing, then this is great for you. But what if you hate doing it? How well do you think it’s going to work for you? You might find some success with it if you keep working harder and harder, but it’s not going to make you happy. You’re not going to have a sense ofsatisfaction each time you complete such an activity. It will probably just leave you drained.", from the article "Real Success Comes from Doing it Your Way".

Now I'll let you with an extract from Frank Sinatra's "I did it My Way" that summarizes the whole thing:

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way
I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way"For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!
Yes, it was my way

Comments on Al-Shahaz

1. Al-Shahaz is a novel by Naguib Mahfouz.
The novel mainly focuses on the journey of Omar who is sick with the loss of meaning in life. He is bored with his routine life including his work, and his family.

• What first opened his eyes to the meaningless of his life that led to his frustration is a discussion he had with one of his clients. Omar (being a lawyer) wondered about a client who was happy to have his land back telling him that sooner or latter it will be nationalized, the man answered him "ألسنا نعيش في الحياة ونعلم أن الله سيأخذها".
  Omar kept repeating this say all through the novel.
• His old friend (Othman) with whom he fought against the king's and his men's tyranny is about to be released from prison. This reminds him of the old days when he was a fighter for freedom and justice, an activity which he abandoned after his friend's arrest. He is shameful from Othman who sacrificed himself for his friends and protected them. He has a feeling of guilt for abandoning the case and going on with his materialistic life.
  "قلب العالم رأسًا على عقب. انتهى في السجن. وسوف يخرج يومًا. بعد بضعة أعوام. وسوف تتلاقى الأعين في دهشة مزعجة."
• In the past as a rebel, Omar felt that his life was meaningful. In the present as a great & rich lawyer, and a husband, he feels that this means nothing. He is bored with all this. His present life is a normal monotonous life that contrasts with his past rebellious life. He wants to make abnormal things (even if they are against traditions & social norms) to get over this boredom. He has no purpose in life.
  Mostafa (Omar's other friend): "الحقيقة أن عملك جاوز بك أبعد غايات النجاح، وأن زوجك تعبدك، فلم تعد أمامك غاية تتطلع إليها"
  Omar replies sarcastically: "هل أسأل الله فشلاً في العمل وخيانة في الزوجية؟".
• His affair with Warda was the symbol for a rebellion against the routine. However, after some while he found out that his affair with Warda or any other women can never satisfy his anxiousness for a meaningful life. For him Warda has become just like his wife (boring). This rebellion can never be equal to his past rebellion against tyranny. Thus, he was kept in loss.

2. The second thing that drew my attention to this novel is the change in the political life especially of Omar and Mostafa after the 23rd of July. People became indifferent:
Mostafa says: "ما دامت الدولة تحتضن المبادئ التقدمية وتطبقها أليس من الحمكة أن نهتم بأعمالنا الخاصة؟"
Omar commenting on Mostafa's so-called Theatrical Art: "كأن تبيع اللب والفشار وتتسائل عن معنى الوجود"

Mostafa commenting on Omar's affair with Warda: "أو أعشق لأبلغ اليقين"

3. A thing that we can sense in our present is that Science has become the master of the world; only Science. Whereas, Art has become only a means for entertainment. Art no more addresses the mind and feelings of people. If you are interested in studying literature, then your place will be only within the borders of universities. Valuable Art is no more part of the public life and does not contribute to the human life. It is no more a cause for the sublimity and nobility of the soul.
Mostafa (the Artist): .... أزمة فنان بيحث عن شكل جديد بعد أن أعياه المضمون..."
"Othman (the released friend): "ولم أعياه المضمون؟"
Mostafa: "لأنه كلما عثر على موضوع وجده مبتذلاً من كثرة الاستعمال..."
Othman: "ولكن الفنان يضفي من نفسه على موضوعه فيصير جديد في الحدود على الأقل"
Mostafa: "لم يعد هذا مقنعًا في عصر الثروات الجذرية، عصر العلم، وقد تبوأ العلم العرش فوجد الفنان نفسه ضمن الحاشية المنبوذة الجاهلة، وكم ود أن يقتحم الحقائق الكبرى ولكن أعياه العجز والجهل، وحز في نفسه فقدان عرشه فانقلب (غاضبًا) أو (عدوًا للرواية) أو (لا معقول)، ولما استحوذ العلماء على الإعجاب بمعادلاتهم غير المفهومة نزع الفنانون المنهارون إلى سرقة الإعجاب باستحداث أثار شاذة مبهمة غريبة، وأنت إن لم تستطع أن تستلفت أنظار الناس بالتفكير العميق الطويل فقد تستطيعه بأن تجري في ميدان الأوبرا عاريًا..""ولذلك اخترت أبسط الطرق وأصدفها وهو أن أكون مسليًا..."

Hey, I’m a Human Being

What is a human being? What makes me a human being? Is it my flesh? My blood? My spirit? My soul? My brain? My mind? Or a mix of all?
What really makes me feel a human are my deeds that combine every human aspect in me. My bad and good deeds. Sometimes I’m a saint, sometimes I’m a sinner. Sometimes I’m an animal, sometimes I’m a human. Sometimes I’m mad, sometimes I’m calm. Sometimes I’m crazy, sometimes I’m rational. Sometimes I’m hard, sometimes I’m soft. Sometimes I’m heartless, sometimes I’m compassionate.

Is it normal to have all these contradictions and paradoxes? Are other humans the same? Are humans either good or bad; saints or devils? Can you honestly tell yourself that you have never felt any negative feeling towards anyone? That you have never lied in any kind of situation? That you have never talked about anyone behind her/his back? That you have never…..etc. Which side you believe is dominate the good or the bad?

Before you answer think: Have I passed through all kinds of tests to realize the person I’m; what I’m capable of. Whenever I do a bad thing, do I justify what I did saying “The situation was very tough, it drove me to do a thing that I wouldn’t do in normal situations”. But what is a normal situation, is it to live in peace, with no tests to go through?! Of course this is the abnormal. Think of times and conditions when people made mistakes, be objective, don’t take the role of a judge. Think if you got in their shoes, what will be your reaction? Will you be the good person you convince yourself you are?

What’s rolling in my head these days is that: As humans, we all know we make mistakes, we actually have to. Do I look back and consider my mistakes? Even if I do, do I find excuses for my sins and mistakes? Do I convince myself I had no other choice? OR Do I give away my claim that I’m a saint and be convinced I made a mistake that I must not do again? (Even saints make mistakes, after all they are humans) Do I repent? Even after repenting, do I really prevent myself from repeating the same mistake? Do I complain to Allah my weakness? Ask for forgiveness and help to reform myself?

If I’m a human who makes mistakes
I should be a human who knows I made mistakes
I should be a human who asks my creator to wash away all my sins
I should be a human who aims at overcoming my natural weakness
As a human being

ISA Misuse

Have you ever noticed how ISA (In Shaa Allah) is misused? Have you ever realized the gravity of ISA misuse? Have you ever considered how we transform the meaning of a sublime quote intentionally or unintentionally?

Actually, I did.

A year ago I was in a work trip at Qatar. I met different people from different countries, backgrounds, cultures and religions. Thanks to Allah, that I had the open mind to deal with these differences. I was working with a Singaporean team. We both were working at a Qatari organization. One day, the Singaporean Project Manager asked me a strange question:

PM: Shimaa, when you say God Willing, does it mean you will not do the job?

Me: No of course not. Why do you think so?

PM: Since it always happens that way. Whenever anyone here tells me God Willing, he or she says it in an ironic tone and usually they don’t do the job.

Of course I believed her, since I saw this myself.

Me: look Jeannie this is a misuse of the quote. God Willing or as we say it InshaaAllah and even write it ISA in mails doesn’t contradict with commitment. You know God ordered our prophet himself to say these words whenever he is about to do anything. The point is that we may want to do something and we are committed to doing it, however, we may not be able to since God doesn’t want that for us. This has nothing to with people who misuse this sublime quote.

PM: How come that you may want something and God wants to keep you from doing it?

Me: Sometimes you believe in something so much and want to do it so much, but something stops you. At this point you may get angry and upset, then later…

PM: Oh yes, you realize that it has been better this way, because it wasn’t actually the best for you.

Me: Exactly, that’s when God protects you from things you believed they are good.

PM: You know, you and your colleague always say these words, but you are always committed to finish your work.

Me: Yes, this is the right thing to do when you say InShaaAllah.

PM: I got it now some misuse these words and others use them correctly.

Do you see now how we may misrepresent our religion and sublime thoughts? This woman talked to me and discussed the matter to understand. Others may not do the same, and say the Muslims take God as an excuse for lack of commitment. Please, take care how we can use and represent our religion and culture.